The Future of Me?

I cannot predict the future and I don't play a psychic on TV. But I do ask myself (more than I thought I ever would). What is the future of me? I'm no philosopher either but I seem to philosophize, if that is even a word, more than I should. I guess what I'm asking myselfe, God, whoever wants to listen. Am I just protesting? or do I have a valid reason to question my destiny which at 39 am still unaware of its existence or purpose. Should I be content and just shut up. I have grown much in the past year. Wisdom caused by the frailty of life? Nearness of Death? what is next?